Friday, March 20, 2015

❤ ; Muna K

This entry is specially written for my beautiful star, muna.

   It was so hard for me to accept that you already left sesta even dah 3 minggu kau pergi. 
  I feel so blank for this 3 weeks that i cant focus on my studies(tipu je nak drama sikit) i keep thinking of you. Im scared that you cant adapt with the new surrounding. 
  Muna, fyi past three weeks, adalah minggu yang sangat kosong dalam hidup aku, you know im being so heartless that i dont care orang nak marah ke ape, aku tak heran pun. you know, dah takde orang nak kejut aku kalau aku tertidur dalam kelas, nak teman aku pergi toilet, nak layan aku punya problems, fears aku yang pelik pelik, jalan dengan aku waktu balik sekolah, prep petang/malam, teman pergi dm. I go with random people je sekarang. And the situation and feeling is totally different. I keep singing stay by miley cyrus whenever i want you by my side. The tears keep running down my cheeks when im sad, and the only person who can calm me down selalunya is you. Huda dengan aisyah kelas lain, so it was kind of hard to meet them. Huaaaa. And then, sekarang takde siapa nak spread the positive vibes dekat kami, huda kalau sampai tahap pemikiran negatif dia tu, aku akan sokong je, hal dia kan? tapi kalau ade kau mesti halang kami. We need you lah do! 
  I dont know whether our friends can accept your absence or not, but not for me. Because i know the real reason youre leaving. Im not the type of person who loves to hold grudge against someone but for this matter, i need to. I know, when we hold grudge against someone, its will make us feel uneasy, tak tenang and it will not kacau that person yang kita benci tu but for this time, its makes me feel satisfied you know. Haha. Dont worry i wont harm anyone. I just follow the flow. I will let this feelings go when im okay, when im happy, when i can accept this(insyaAllah i can). All i can do right now, is back to basic, back to Allah, tenangkan hati, forgive everyone and be humble cause i am no one kalau nak dibandingkan dgn org lain to hold grudges over them hm. Shhh go away shaitan. Jangan bisikkan rasa benci tu lagi. 
   I know people come and go. I know that all of this obstacles are put in this way just to see what i want in this life are worth fighting for. 
   Muna, i feel your pain. We've been through it together when youre here. Apatah lagi waktu dekat dm tu. hm. i let you go cause i know you dont belongs here. The moment when you call your mum every night sambil nangis sambil cerita apa kita lalui untuk 3 minggu pertama persekolahan, its makes me realise you will be happy out there. I'll always pray for your happiness. I feel so glad that i still have my beautiful 'friends', my batchmates and sestarian. Btw, congrats tbz for getting number 1 in perak for spm result! Im so proud of them.  

Just so you know that, i forgive but never forget. 


Anonymous said...

Syu comel ������

Anonymous said...

Terbubuh emoji pulak-aishahilni